He did it again! He bounces back quickly. Doctor was very happy with him so he had his cast wrapped with fibreglass (he always destroys them) for protection. Tony explained a bit more of what was done to his foot as I had missed the doctor's rounds while I was home with Katie and Ben. Sounds like he has done pretty much everything he can. Plan is still to go back in two weeks to get some wires removed (currently screwed into his tibia, ouch) which are pulling his foot straighter. The doctor will manipulate the foot further still, stitch him up and re-cast him. I don't know yet if he gets something else next month, or whether that cast is the one that stays on for a few months.
It was bitter cold today. Very windy and raining, sleet and snow. Thank goodness the hospital is only a few minutes away, we were blown all over when we went to visit. Tony had been very bored, I don't blame him. Katie gave him a nice greeting though. I forgot she missed him all yesterday too, so that was cute.
We finally got home - I was really expecting to be in until at least the weekend - and he seemed ok, but the pain is really bothering him now. I gave him his meds and it only really seemed to take the edge off it, but he was also very tired so I put him to bed. He slept for a while but has been crying in bed so I gave him the maximum dose and he is quiet for now. He has no way to say he hurts so I'm just going to give him his Calpol every 4 hours whether he appears to need it or not. He likes to sleep on his front too so I bet he is very uncomfortable.
Poor guy, I hope he feels better over the coming days.
Oh, and Ben is definitely a crawler, he's finally cracked it. I know he was later than most kids, but he still beat Katie by 2-3 weeks :). It is very sweet to see, but I'm in trouble as he wants *everything*! Katie never really messed with things or put stuff in her mouth, Ben just does not stop no matter what and tries to eat everything. Time to be more vigilant in the childproofing.
Thursday, 31 January 2008
Wednesday, 30 January 2008
It is done
Update tomorrow, I need to go to bed. He is doing well so far though. Relieved.
Pre op.
Pre op.
Post op
Tuesday, 29 January 2008
Tear out my heart
Why don't you.
Jack is having his surgery tomorrow for his talipes (clubfoot) - please, please, please no more delays. I'll be nervous until tomorrow when he sees the doctor for his final all clear. His cold is really just a crusty nose, so I'm going to give him a bath in the morning to clear him all out. We need to be there for 7.30am sharp. He's second on the surgery list so he should go down quite quickly.
I'm also nervous for the surgery. I would hate to put him through this and not have it make any difference. He's had lots of intervention since birth and a previous surgery on his foot, but no success so far. A lot of that may be down to extremely low muscle tone, also hindered by him having Cerebral Palsy on his left side, but if he has any chance of walking, we need to try. I can't even imagine his foot to be straight. But, this operation is the big one. His consultant told me this is all they can do for him and whatever the outcome, it is as good as it is going to get for him. It will be done in 3 stages. Tomorrow they will operate on his leg/foot/tendons/bone, etc and he'll get metal pins in his leg and casted (but his would will be open as since his foot is currently "deformed", the skin won't fit together to be stitched). He'll have this on for two weeks, come back for the second stage, a revision and his foot can then be stitched and back into another cast. I think this one is for 4-6 weeks where he'll have another revision and the metal pins removed? Then another cast for up to 4 months.
ANYWAY, the point of this post was going to be... since we're up for an early start tomorrow, it wouldn't be fair to Katie and Ben to have to get them up and ready, so they are staying with my mam overnight and for most of tomorrow while we're at the hospital and will figure out childcare from there. We took them over and were just playing for a bit when Ben decides he will try out *forward* motion, finally!!! Yes, I'm pleased I was there, I at least have that. He crawled 6 knees forward! He is good at crawling/pushing backwards or just twisting and turning until he gets where he wants to go, but this is the first time he's officially crawled. I'm going to be sad to miss this emerging skill over the next few days (they are going to have to be shuffled back and forward to different people, I'm going to miss them too). Maybe the next time I see him he'll be a fully fledged crawler and I'll miss all the wobbly figuring it out stage :(.
I never did get his 11 month pictures uploaded, I'll need to do that probably at the weekend, we'll be in hospital for a while. I'll have no access there, but will be coming home while other people visit Jack. The one consolation is that this hospital is only a 5-10 minute walk away.
Will try to check back as soon as I can. If that turns out to be early tomorrow morning, that will mean the surgery has been cancelled for whatever reason and I will be very upset!
Jack is having his surgery tomorrow for his talipes (clubfoot) - please, please, please no more delays. I'll be nervous until tomorrow when he sees the doctor for his final all clear. His cold is really just a crusty nose, so I'm going to give him a bath in the morning to clear him all out. We need to be there for 7.30am sharp. He's second on the surgery list so he should go down quite quickly.
I'm also nervous for the surgery. I would hate to put him through this and not have it make any difference. He's had lots of intervention since birth and a previous surgery on his foot, but no success so far. A lot of that may be down to extremely low muscle tone, also hindered by him having Cerebral Palsy on his left side, but if he has any chance of walking, we need to try. I can't even imagine his foot to be straight. But, this operation is the big one. His consultant told me this is all they can do for him and whatever the outcome, it is as good as it is going to get for him. It will be done in 3 stages. Tomorrow they will operate on his leg/foot/tendons/bone, etc and he'll get metal pins in his leg and casted (but his would will be open as since his foot is currently "deformed", the skin won't fit together to be stitched). He'll have this on for two weeks, come back for the second stage, a revision and his foot can then be stitched and back into another cast. I think this one is for 4-6 weeks where he'll have another revision and the metal pins removed? Then another cast for up to 4 months.
ANYWAY, the point of this post was going to be... since we're up for an early start tomorrow, it wouldn't be fair to Katie and Ben to have to get them up and ready, so they are staying with my mam overnight and for most of tomorrow while we're at the hospital and will figure out childcare from there. We took them over and were just playing for a bit when Ben decides he will try out *forward* motion, finally!!! Yes, I'm pleased I was there, I at least have that. He crawled 6 knees forward! He is good at crawling/pushing backwards or just twisting and turning until he gets where he wants to go, but this is the first time he's officially crawled. I'm going to be sad to miss this emerging skill over the next few days (they are going to have to be shuffled back and forward to different people, I'm going to miss them too). Maybe the next time I see him he'll be a fully fledged crawler and I'll miss all the wobbly figuring it out stage :(.
I never did get his 11 month pictures uploaded, I'll need to do that probably at the weekend, we'll be in hospital for a while. I'll have no access there, but will be coming home while other people visit Jack. The one consolation is that this hospital is only a 5-10 minute walk away.
Will try to check back as soon as I can. If that turns out to be early tomorrow morning, that will mean the surgery has been cancelled for whatever reason and I will be very upset!
Babies!
So many on my online friends are having babies or getting pregnant this week. Congratulations!!!
I love children. I would totally have more if we'd had more time, money and space, but we don't and it isn't an option any more. I still feel broody though and it can never be.
Anyway, loving all the little new people coming into the world! So exciting.
I love children. I would totally have more if we'd had more time, money and space, but we don't and it isn't an option any more. I still feel broody though and it can never be.
Anyway, loving all the little new people coming into the world! So exciting.
Monday, 28 January 2008
11 months
Happy 11 months Ben!!!
My baby is one next month... no!
He got his third tooth today, top front and is working on the other.
Pictures and milestones to come :)
My baby is one next month... no!
He got his third tooth today, top front and is working on the other.
Pictures and milestones to come :)
Sunday, 27 January 2008
Workout roundup
I missed my run today as I caught Jack's cold and AF has decided that since we are done having kids, it would be a good time to give me my 28 cycles back. (I need a raspberry blowing smilie)
I ran on my treadmill Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
Time - 105 minutes
Distance - 10.3 miles
Calories - 414
I would have easily beaten my totals from last week if I'd been able to run today.
I have GAINED 1 lb. Definitely need that smilie!
I ran on my treadmill Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
Time - 105 minutes
Distance - 10.3 miles
Calories - 414
I would have easily beaten my totals from last week if I'd been able to run today.
I have GAINED 1 lb. Definitely need that smilie!
Saturday, 26 January 2008
You're kidding, right?!
£26! £26 ($50) for ONE wiper blade.
We took the car in this morning as the gearbox wasn't shifting properly and asked them to look at the blade as it wasn't fully clearing the windscreen since Tony washed the car. I knew we should have gone through the car wash ;-)
Of course, they had to be special thingymabobs and we couldn't just buy a generic replacement, it was something to do with the bracket. It's not our car (it's licensed through the Motability scheme for Jack) so we have to buy dealer parts. The most we've ever paid before is like £12 for a pair, so this hurt!
Oh well, at least the engine is sorted. It was very disconcerting braking while approaching a roundabout, seeing there was time to get out so putting your foot on the accelerator and the car deciding to go forward a little bit then practically stopping in the middle of a junction with cars swiftly approaching before it finally moved off!!
We took the car in this morning as the gearbox wasn't shifting properly and asked them to look at the blade as it wasn't fully clearing the windscreen since Tony washed the car. I knew we should have gone through the car wash ;-)
Of course, they had to be special thingymabobs and we couldn't just buy a generic replacement, it was something to do with the bracket. It's not our car (it's licensed through the Motability scheme for Jack) so we have to buy dealer parts. The most we've ever paid before is like £12 for a pair, so this hurt!
Oh well, at least the engine is sorted. It was very disconcerting braking while approaching a roundabout, seeing there was time to get out so putting your foot on the accelerator and the car deciding to go forward a little bit then practically stopping in the middle of a junction with cars swiftly approaching before it finally moved off!!
Friday, 25 January 2008
Wow, that was fun
Not.
Just had a visit from Jack's psychologists. It went on forever so I've missed my doctors appointment again!
Anyway, got the distinct impression that yes, they're not disputing that he has problems, but that I have maybe a "defeatist" attitude. That's my words and I may be wrong in my impression, but way to go to make me feel worse than I do. I think they think that when we go out, I am already thinking it's going to be awful, so it is. Many times I've kept my outlook light and conveyed that to Jack "we're going to have a great time, Jack", it makes no difference. They think he will outgrow it, but I'm sure they think it is as much me as it is him.
He has not been diagnosed with anything, he's had CT scan, pressure monitoring, they say there is no medical reason and is learnt behaviour. He does not act like this for school, even if they are out on a trip for hours, so for whatever reason, it is something to do with his relationship with me, or maybe the kids or whatever. They don't know what sparked it for him, why he'd do it even for fun things (park, library) but it is a bad habit.
You know, I've tried just about everything. I don't think it is only communication frustration, I can tell the difference. There is an obvious difference in his gestures, intonation, actions when he's trying to tell us something, or he wants something... compared to this sheer screaming and shouting (angrily) as soon as we even pull into a car park. And then continuing until we stop it. He doesn't get his way. It may not be fun, but we need to do things so he has to do it. He doesn't get an out, so it's not like he thinks "if I just make some noise I can go home and I'll get what I want". We've tried rewards, tried different modes of transportation, or when he's in the trolley/cart - forward facing, rear facing, in his pram, sitting on his own, next to Katie, next to Ben, carried.
She seemed to project a lot onto her assumptions of what I must feel like. That I usually let Tony push the trolley and bear the brunt of Jack while I'm a little ahead if shopping and just getting what we need = I'm detached? No, it means I'm not big enough to manoeuvre the thing with at least two kids and food in it, so Tony does it. Plus, I know more what we need ;-)
Just feeling despondent at this moment.
I know there are some changes I need to make, I know I need to use more Makaton with him and I need to experiment more with taking him somewhere with one specific goal in mind, short sharp attack if you will, then get out, give him a reward, stickers, whatever so he knows he can trust me that it is not always unpleasant to be out, then build up from there. Really though, like I *want* him to act like this? I would give ANYTHING to be able to go out with my husband and children as a family for even 30 minutes and everyone have a good time. Of course it is not easy. Of course it's not nice wondering whether we'll ever be able to even have a holiday together. Am I just supposed to trust this is a normal phase (been going on precisely 2 years and 3 months now)? Believe me, I would love to believe he will grow out of it.
I rang Tony, he said they are patronising, I hope he doesn't escalate it until we talk properly.
Blah.
Just had a visit from Jack's psychologists. It went on forever so I've missed my doctors appointment again!
Anyway, got the distinct impression that yes, they're not disputing that he has problems, but that I have maybe a "defeatist" attitude. That's my words and I may be wrong in my impression, but way to go to make me feel worse than I do. I think they think that when we go out, I am already thinking it's going to be awful, so it is. Many times I've kept my outlook light and conveyed that to Jack "we're going to have a great time, Jack", it makes no difference. They think he will outgrow it, but I'm sure they think it is as much me as it is him.
He has not been diagnosed with anything, he's had CT scan, pressure monitoring, they say there is no medical reason and is learnt behaviour. He does not act like this for school, even if they are out on a trip for hours, so for whatever reason, it is something to do with his relationship with me, or maybe the kids or whatever. They don't know what sparked it for him, why he'd do it even for fun things (park, library) but it is a bad habit.
You know, I've tried just about everything. I don't think it is only communication frustration, I can tell the difference. There is an obvious difference in his gestures, intonation, actions when he's trying to tell us something, or he wants something... compared to this sheer screaming and shouting (angrily) as soon as we even pull into a car park. And then continuing until we stop it. He doesn't get his way. It may not be fun, but we need to do things so he has to do it. He doesn't get an out, so it's not like he thinks "if I just make some noise I can go home and I'll get what I want". We've tried rewards, tried different modes of transportation, or when he's in the trolley/cart - forward facing, rear facing, in his pram, sitting on his own, next to Katie, next to Ben, carried.
She seemed to project a lot onto her assumptions of what I must feel like. That I usually let Tony push the trolley and bear the brunt of Jack while I'm a little ahead if shopping and just getting what we need = I'm detached? No, it means I'm not big enough to manoeuvre the thing with at least two kids and food in it, so Tony does it. Plus, I know more what we need ;-)
Just feeling despondent at this moment.
I know there are some changes I need to make, I know I need to use more Makaton with him and I need to experiment more with taking him somewhere with one specific goal in mind, short sharp attack if you will, then get out, give him a reward, stickers, whatever so he knows he can trust me that it is not always unpleasant to be out, then build up from there. Really though, like I *want* him to act like this? I would give ANYTHING to be able to go out with my husband and children as a family for even 30 minutes and everyone have a good time. Of course it is not easy. Of course it's not nice wondering whether we'll ever be able to even have a holiday together. Am I just supposed to trust this is a normal phase (been going on precisely 2 years and 3 months now)? Believe me, I would love to believe he will grow out of it.
I rang Tony, he said they are patronising, I hope he doesn't escalate it until we talk properly.
Blah.
Wednesday, 23 January 2008
Katie's first day pictures
I'm a bit disappointed in the quality of some of them, I didn't check them properly as I was in a hurry.
Here she was on her first ever day of playgroup. This is her new camera face!
I quickly stood her outside before we went to get more light, do you think she was cold?
And on her first day without me. Again, her "smile!!!!!!" face.
Here she was on her first ever day of playgroup. This is her new camera face!
I quickly stood her outside before we went to get more light, do you think she was cold?
And on her first day without me. Again, her "smile!!!!!!" face.
No no no!
Jack woke up with a cold this morning. Please let it be short lived, we can't afford for his surgery to be postponed a third time. 7 days to go, please!
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