Here are a couple.
I was only one of two parents who brought other kids (hope that was ok, too late now!) and Katie kept shouting out "KatieJack" whenever his picture came up. Whenever she sees a photo of him, it's always KatieJack! Sweet. We saw him in the corridor by co-incidence and he seemed pleased to see us. Katie wasn't so happy that she couldn't go into the classroom with him.
I spoke to his physio as they were supposed to be getting us a standing frame for home and haven't so far. I also borrowed a couple of sensory toys for him to try to distract him when we do things at home which he doesn't like - which is just about everything, sigh. It is this plastic dome thing filled with glitter, balls and a fan and is connected to a switch, so he presses the big switch (since he can't manipulate regular toys), it starts the fan and plays a tune. Which he enjoyed... until Katie also wanted to try then all hell broke loose!
He is getting harder to cope with in his behaviour, it is really upsetting me and makes me feel like a big failure. When I look at that picture with the bubbles it makes me want to cry. I did in fact have tears in my eyes during the presentation, what a wuss! It's just when acts like he is in the picture he is the most adorable, sweet, funny kid on the planet, but when he's not, which is a lot, it is soul destroying. He doesn't do it at school, so it must be me and I don't know how to help him.
His school was recently inspected by the government regulators and the report just came back saying that it is an outstanding special needs school and one of the best in the whole country. I think it is pretty wonderful myself.
2 comments:
When Jack is at school, are the other students taking his toys, touching his toys, etc... or is that something that happens only at home ?
At school does Jack get a lot of one-on-one attention ?
I'm wondering if his behaviour worsens at home, not because of anything you're doing or not doing, but because he gets frustrated when his siblings touch his things, etc...
Could Jack's behaviour worsen, because at home he feels more comfortable to be naughty or act up, knowing Mummy loves him regardless of how he's acting, and at school he feels more guarded ?
Regarding the toy from school, is it possible to distract Jack for ten minutes, in another room, and set a timer and tell Katie she can play with the toy until the timer goes off. Then it will be Jack's turn to play with it ?
Naturally Katie is going to want to play with the new, cool toy in the house. Soon Ben might want to as well. If allowing the other kids to have a turn, while distracting Jack helps to lessen his frustration levels, maybe that would help a little with some of his behaviour ?
Obviously I'm no expert. Just another fellow Mom, trying to offer up suggestions to be helpful. :-)
*It's not humanly possible for a
Mum with more than one kid, to focus all of her attention on, one of her children.
I think most Mum's (you are Not alone!) struggle with feeling guilty once we add a second or third child (or more ) to our family. It changes the whole dynamics of the family. It makes it more challenging.
I think you're doing a wonderful job juggling everything as best you can !
~Lisa
Hey Lisa,
I did ask his teachers how he is when he needs to take turns and share with other kids - they said he is absolutely fine! Enjoys what they are doing and waits his turn. I think there is an aid for every pupil (or maybe 1:2), I think they have 8 kids in the class, so he does get a lot of attention there.
He is doing much better at home this week. He has his moments, but I've gone from trying to appease him and reason with him, to just telling him like it is, "Jack, time to change your nappy, arms in the air, good boy" and just ignore when he objects. It seems to be helping a bit. Also, less tv is also helping! We do our own little "circle time" that they do at school at home where all the kids are sat on the floor and we pass toys between them.
He's still a little devil outdoors, but one step at a time. I mean, you know what he was like when he was born, he just took everything in his stride. It's evident that the issue for him now is the gap between his awareness (he tests high) and his abilities, physical and communication. He doesn't have a way to bridge the gap so it massively frustrated.
For now it's just one day at a time though! Thanks for the advice, I think a timer would be fun for both of them, I'll give it a try.
I don't know how you did it with 7 kids!
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