An evening amongst adults

Well, a couple of hours for Tony & I to just be adults! We were supposed to be going bowling with my brother and his girlfriend for her birthday, but they are developers and one of their software thingies had a bug they needed to fix. Since my mam was coming to ours anyway to put the kids to bed, I jumped at the chance for some ALONE time with Tony. It was lovely!

We went to our local pub, something we would never have done before. The UK brought out a new "no smoking in places of work" law in July and man, what a difference. I know regulation is a controversial thing, but I for one really enjoyed the benefits. I hate smoking, I would have avoided this environment at all costs before, but it was great to walk in and not be met with a cloud of smoke. Even my mam commented "YOU? Going to a pub??". I think she was referring to alcohol more than anything as I very rarely drink these days, but I replied "Yes mother, but we're going to eat" :)

It was heaven to enjoy a meal prepared by someone else, especially without little hands grabbing at my food, even though she has exactly the same thing on her own plate. Tony had to cut my chicken though as it was a half chicken, on the bone, and I cannot touch meat on the bone, it freaks me out! We even had desert, OMG, ice cream, brownies, smothered in cream and sauce - delicious! And no dishes to clear away, can't get better than that.

What an exciting pair we are. It was around 8.30 when we finished, and we're a bit low on cash so couldn't afford to just sit and drink (even if it was only diet Pepsi, lol), but not wanting to waste such precious peace and quiet we decided to go to the supermarket. How sad. It was nice to just shop and not having to listen to Jack screaming the entire time. I hope when he goes to school full time it helps him with these episodes. "They" say since he is delayed, he just stays in stages longer, so for him this is the terrible twos. But two years later and EVERY single time we go out anywhere, even if it is somewhere fun?? Ah, it is draining.

Of course I was drawn to the kids section who had some great items on sale so Ben has some new outfits. I even bought a dress, For me!! I haven't tried it on yet, but I'll probably end up doing what I usually do and take it back.

Something that's still making me laugh today... our "new" kitchen, which is the bane of my husband's life, is nearly finished. I think I've been saying that for months now. But, it really, really, is *nearly* finished now so I'm looking at finishing touches. We were looking at the fruit and veg section when I wandered to the herbs and picked up two pots out of many, trying to decide what to get. Basil, smelled too strong, Mint, reminded me of weird childhood memories, so I settled on parsley and chives and asked what he thought. "Hmm (non commital), depends what you want to cook" and he laughed at me when I replied "Oh, they're not actually for cooking, just for decoration". Well, I've seen on makeover shows these little details make the difference. He knows I'm a picky eater ;-)

Katie is well into separation anxiety right now, something she hasn't ever really done before. I can be right next to her and the conversation will go :
Katie, in a little whimpering voice - "Mammy?"
Me - "Yes, darling?"
Katie - "Mammy?"
Me - "Yes....?"
Katie - "Mammy"
Me - "What, Katie?!"
Katie - "Mammy?"
Me - "What?!!!!!"
Me - dare to take even one step away.
Katie - wailing with a complete look of panic "MAMMY?"

Argh, it drives me nuts. I can't breathe, especially if Ben is crying at the same time and Jack is shouting and she is literally clinging onto me - she even pulled my trousers down once! And then I feel so guilty, because I know Rachael would do ANYTHING to hear those words from her little girl again.

Gosh, motherhood can pull your emotions and life in a million opposite directions all at the same time. I know it is ok to feel overwhelmed, I don't ever have any child free time, my kids have a lot of challenges, yet I still feel awful for enjoying being away from them. Anyway, it was just so nice to connect with Tony as a husband and just be me for a couple of hours. Me? Whoever that is, I'm not sure lately.