New Year's Eve

We had (another) quiet evening. We took the christmas tree and decorations down yesterday as there are just so many new toys cluttering the room. We must convert the garage to a playroom this year! Once the kids were in bed, we played Super Mario Party 8 on the Wii (I won), then watched Children of Men on HD-DVD. We paused a few minutes before midnight to switch to TV and watch the Big Ben chimes and London fireworks. I always feel a bit emotional "ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding done......silence....wait for it.....chime. Happy New Year!" (sorry I'm back and forwards in my tense, I'm writing it on the 1st, but back dating it).

2007. Where has it gone? It just seems to have passed in the blink of an eye.

Ben. The highlight was obviously the birth of our last baby, Ben. It was just a wonderful event and experience. Will I always remember it so vividly? I hope so. I hate the thought that one day I might not recall all of the details or feelings as I do now, it was just so amazing. He was the first baby we didn't find out the gender for, so I think that extra surprise just put the icing on the cake. I'm trying to enjoy everything I can since we'll never have these baby milestones again. He is just so lovely. Cute little face and his emerging personality is pulling me in. He's my most clingy baby but is constantly wanting to explore and sings himself little tunes. His smile, yes, that's what it is all about.

Katie. She has changed so much over this last year. She has gone from just a little baby to a walking, talking, funny character. She did everything late, didn't walk until 20 months old (February) and hasn't stopped since! She is always on the go, she has to touch everything. She certainly only does what she wants to do, very strong willed, but she is so lovely. She cracks me up every day by the things she says and does. She's my little buddy and I think she's really going to enjoy when she goes to playgroup and nursery in 2008. And... when she doesn't think I'm watching, she is very sweet to Jack and helps him a lot. I just don't think she wants to admit to liking her annoying brothers!

Jack. Lots of new things for Jack this year. He started school, how on earth did he get that old? Part time in January, then full time in September. I can't say enough how wonderful I think it is for him. His teachers are lovely and very skilled and patient in all they do. He has come on so much this year. We've had lots of ups and downs. Surgeries, illness, lot's of things haven't changed. He's still tube fed, still can't walk, but the things he can now do? We've had first words, then a whole vocabulary! Some words are very clear, some only we can understand, but he is trying very hard and is dropping some signs in favour of speech. He can count to ten!! He knows some colours. He can now move where ever he wants, shuffling himself across the floor. And something he has never likes - physical contact - he now actively seeks out. He'll get right to your feet and motion with both arms outstretched and wiggling his fingers to be picked up and cuddled :). I think 2008 is going to be a great year for him!

Tony. We get stressed, we get irritated, but I love him more than I ever have. He is my rock. He is a wonderful provider and comforter. He works very hard and never asks for much. He gets very little free/relaxation time, between work, college, DIY, kids, etc. 2007 has been professionally rewarding to him and I'm glad he is getting recognition. He is on the verge of a promotion in January and he deserves it. I want him to be happy in his job. Sometimes he has to travel and I do find it difficult as even though it may only be one day, it's still hard for me, but I know he needs to do it for his own self worth and to allow me to stay home ;-). I might not always say it, but I have a lot of respect for him. He is a real man. Despite what he might think, I am proud to be with him and to share my life with him. We're coming up to 7 years in February, we've had MANY hard times, much heartache, but we are stronger than ever and I love him.

Me. Truth be told, I feel like I've lost myself a little over the years. Whilst I think my job as a mother is extremely important and necessary - I wouldn't change staying home or anything - it has consumed me. I feel like that is my only identity. With Jack being at school, that has provided a huge amount of respite, but we still have many pressing issues with him and it carries through to how I act and react in other areas. I feel like I've been too miserable this year. I have everything I want and really do count my blessings, but it's tough sometimes. My "mistakes" have been that I haven't looked after myself properly in body and spirit. BUT, I am happy and healthy (not today, but mostly ;-) ), I have a wonderful husband who I love and who loves me back, and 3 gorgeous little beings who I would not change for the world. Life is good!

In a way, the end of the year kind of makes me feel a tiiiiiiny bit sad as yes, I can reflect on all the positive and nice things that have happened, but on the other have to actively "think" about the not so nice things to put closure on them - and what if I don't want to say goodbye to the good things either?! It is like we're pressurised into resolving to do *better*, no matter what you might have achieved. On the other hand though, clean slate and a fresh outlook and time to dust the old cobwebs!